Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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