Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
