Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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