I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
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You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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