After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
