I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
worst night to have a conscience
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
