why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
