the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i drank out of a bidet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Damn victory sex feels great
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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