the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
