are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
