i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
