Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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