you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
