So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
