That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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