perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My ATM looks so different sober.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
