Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
