Can Purell be used as lube?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
