That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
