Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
