I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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