Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
