watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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