yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
