I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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