she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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