I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
