just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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