Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize