I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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