That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
