I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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