Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have already put on my inside pants.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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