im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
