can we get nightvision for the apartment?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
