the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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