I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
