Porn is love you can see.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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