5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
