i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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