he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
