Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
