I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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