how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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