Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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