Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
