I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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