My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
