i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
