Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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