Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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