I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
