I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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