I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
