I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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