Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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