I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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