the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
