tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize