worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
